The stranger in the mirror wears my clothes,
although they’re tighter on her.
My diamond hangs round her neck.
She has different eyes:
Soft grey; a touch of storm.
Clear and deep;
Their murky film washed away.
She told me her name once,
and I laughed.
It didn’t fit anymore.
The sadness tapers off,
and the stranger
is stranger still .
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This smell of coffee and ice cold water;
that sound of my name falling off your tongue;
the world that’s opened in those big brown eyes.
Hell; apparently temporary
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I prized your talons from my heart;
Washed your scent from my skin;
Discarded all that you left.
You’re not here
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Dreams of glass,
Prayers for silent,
Hopes for peace;
Hopes for hearts
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Give me winter, and give me the sea.
Give me the cold sun of a November morning. Give me pebbles and broken shells; Give me the wind of the shore; Give me time, give me time.
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Of tears and smiles
and cuts and bruises
and loss and gain
and despair and delight.
I survived another year;
And I couldn’t be prouder.
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This is not a poem.
This is an apology, of sorts.
I’ve been erratic.
I’ve not made sense.
I’ve been a strange
kind of sad;
I’ve been a relapse.
I didn’t even notice.
But I cried for two days,
And now I’m human.
I’ve only prayed for death twice,
Is this not how life is?
There is a glass of wine in my hand;
And I’m back.
And I might have changed.
are reading this…
…then please know that I’m sorry.
And that I’ll be back.
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I don’t want to show you “no make-up”.
I want to show you naked.
I am desperate to show you every flaw in my broken mind;
But that is not what people do.
People wear masks and armour;
Send the heroes away
to rescue someone else.
Today I needed to be rescued,
And I am unashamed.
And I want you to know.
That admitting defeat
is incredibly brave.
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