The stranger in the mirror wears my clothes,
although they’re tighter on her.
My diamond hangs round her neck.
She has different eyes:
Soft grey; a touch of storm.
Clear and deep;
Their murky film washed away.
She told me her name once,
and I laughed.
It didn’t fit anymore.
The sadness tapers off,
and the stranger
is stranger still .
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There’s a devil caressing my spine,
spewing venom into my nerves.
It jumps at the back of my throat,
and laughs when I flinch.
Its cold grip holds my heart of ice in place;
and the disease spreads.
It freezes one cell
then the next.
And all you can do is watch.
I have all the help they can give.
And I’m getting worse.
And all you can do is watch.
In this building of nurses insisting I press the bell and let them help, the panic attack plays through without witness.
A midnight delivery scares the birds out of the trees and into the sky; free and flying and soon they will be calm.
Another minute passes. Another moment closer to morning. Another cry down the hallway from a man who doesn’t know what morning is
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Are all fragile things
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I’ve learned that hell is grey.
That the brimstone is cold and sharp.
That the devil himself weighs ten pounds;
And he sits in your stomach for months on end;
Setting cold fires;
Caressing your gut with his long,
He leaves you through the mouth;
Through the eyes.
He shakes you as he passes;
With talons in your nerves,
Leaving a trail of bile in places it doesn’t belong.
And when he is free;
He holds you safe
In a little box;
And he shakes you like an empty can;
And he sets you down disoriented on strange ground .
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Heavy skulls relieved of duty.
A thousand thoughts cast out,
in a cloud of bittersweet
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It became life and death.
So I drank.
And for the first time in three weeks
I do not want to destroy myself.
For the first time in three weeks,
I feel something resembling safe .
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In two weeks I lost
and my mind.
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But where have you gone;
But what do you see;
You come back;
Your eyes are translucent;
And skin has turned white;
The Dark is a bitch
Have to fight.
This darkness is scary;
The monsters are real;
Things that I’ll
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