There’s a devil caressing my spine,
spewing venom into my nerves.
It jumps at the back of my throat,
and laughs when I flinch.
Its cold grip holds my heart of ice in place;
and the disease spreads.

It freezes one cell
then the next.
And all you can do is watch.

I have all the help they can give.
And I’m getting worse.
And all you can do is watch.



In this building of nurses insisting I press the bell and let them help, the panic attack plays through without witness.

A midnight delivery scares the birds out of the trees and into the sky; free and flying and soon they will be calm.

Another minute passes. Another moment closer to morning. Another cry down the hallway from a man who doesn’t know what morning is. 

El Diablo

I’ve learned that hell is grey.
That the brimstone is cold and sharp.
That the devil himself weighs ten pounds;
And he sits in your stomach for months on end;
Setting cold fires;
Caressing your gut with his long,

He leaves you through the mouth;
Through the eyes.
He shakes you as he passes;
With talons in your nerves,
Leaving a trail of bile in places it doesn’t belong.

And when he is free;
He holds you safe
In a little box;
And he shakes you like an empty can;
And he sets you down disoriented on strange ground.


But where have you gone;
But what do you see;
How long
You come back;
To me?

Your eyes are translucent;
And skin has turned white;
The Dark is a bitch
You should
Have to fight.

This darkness is scary;
The monsters are real;
I’m secretly
Things that I’ll
Never feel.



He watches as she cries in fear of an invisible tormentor.
He holds her down as she tears at her skin.
He strokes her hair as she stares vacantly into the horizon through dusty eyes.
He kisses her cuts and bruises and burns and scars.
He holds her so tightly and tells her the world isn’t ending.
He listens while she says some horrible words.
He soothes her when she wants to die.
He watches her eyes twitching with anxiety, her arms held tightly across her chest, her gaze shifting rapidly from one imperfection to the next.
He feels helpless.
All he ever wanted was to love her.
Keeping her alive is consuming his soul.