Gris

Heavy lids on green eyes on grey matter.
Bitter tongue and burnt fingertips.
Hollow thoughts and weak limbs.

A full mind and an empty phonebook.
A life I miss.
And a series of lives I couldn’t.

Advertisements

Peligro

There’s a devil caressing my spine,
spewing venom into my nerves.
It jumps at the back of my throat,
and laughs when I flinch.
Its cold gripĀ holds my heart of ice in place;
and the disease spreads.

It freezes one cell
then the next.
And all you can do is watch.

I have all the help they can give.
And I’m getting worse.
And all you can do is watch.

Solitario

In this building of nurses insisting I press the bell and let them help, the panic attack plays through without witness.

A midnight delivery scares the birds out of the trees and into the sky; free and flying and soon they will be calm.

Another minute passes. Another moment closer to morning. Another cry down the hallway from a man who doesn’t know what morning is. 

Trastornado

An exercise in recognising strength
began with waking in a pool of sweat;
With a throat full of bile,
And a heart full of terror.

I killed four people last night.
I remember the tearing muscle
as I ripped the jaw off one;
The way I was hunted;
The way I was found;
Cornered.

The laughter.
The anticipation.
My own jaw.
My own tendons.
Their revenge.

And this morning-
I dressed and cooked and cleaned;
I brushed some dogs;
I wrote another thousand I’ll probably never publish.

I laughed a little.
My body count is long lost;
Maybe somewhere with my mind.